Podcasts

The Therapeutic Parenting Podcasts

Welcome to the Therapeutic Parenting podcast brought to you by this UK based Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma.
This weekly podcast is intended to support people whose lives are being torn apart by the consequences of early life trauma and neglect.
Are you a deeply concerned adopter or foster parent, birth parent, special guardian or kinship carer? Maybe you are someone who suffered trauma in your early years. Perhaps you’re a supporting professional looking for ways to help traumatized children and struggling families.
We believe this podcast could just be a lifeline for you if you are struggling and have no idea where to turn.
This podcast is being brought to you by the COECT and we are committed to providing people living and working with child trauma with proven strategies to achieve the best possible outcomes for families.
The Therapeutic Parenting podcast will feature in-depth conversations with the COECT professionals and other experts who understand your problems, because they’ve experienced them themselves. But they know a positive future is possible and they want to show you how.
You’ll find this podcast on all the usual podcast platforms and if you press subscribe now – each new edition will be automatically delivered to your device every week.

Season 1

Episode 1:

Where Struggling Parents Can Go To Find Therapeutic Parenting Help

The Therapeutic Parenting Podcast welcomes parents, children and supporting professionals to this first edition.

Meet Sarah Naish, CEO and Founder of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma and the author of best selling books on Therapeutic Parenting.

She and her team have built up an impressive array of services to help those whose lives are being torn apart by the consequences of early life trauma and neglect.

You can find out where to go for immediate help and advice here on the podcast or here on the website.

Sarah also explains the significance of our penguin logo and why it is such a relevant image for those parenting children who suffered early life abuse or traumatic experiences even before birth.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 2:

How to identify Developmental Trauma Disorder in your child

Developmental Trauma Disorder is a little known phrase that is only now beginning to gain traction with health authorities.

Why is it important?

Sarah Naish, explains –  it is the right term to describe the behavioural characteristics displayed by children due to neglect and trauma or by those who experienced serious pre-birth problems.

All too often, their symptoms are diagnosed as post traumatic stress disorder complex. But this is not the correct diagnosis and can lead to wrong assumptions by professionals that end up with the child being misdiagnosed.

As Sarah says, “it’s time we woke up and smelt the coffee and recognise developmental trauma for what it is”. 

As mentioned on the podcast, you can find Sarah’s book “The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting” here

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 3:

How to Understand your Child's Malfunctioning Internal Working Model

You may be puzzling over why your traumatised child’s behaviour around birthdays and festivities becomes even more challenging and difficult than normal.

Our expert guest,  Glynis Hough, is a Foster Parent with decades of experience, a parent of multicultural children, a former social worker and a parent coach.

She’s been been involved with the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) since its inception.   

Glynis explains in detail why your traumatised child’s ability to trust adults – profoundly undermined by their early life experiences – makes them question their own sense of self-worth.

This leads to all sorts of complicated and unexpected behaviour patterns at any time, but particularly during family celebrations.

Here Glynis talks about her own experiences and effective strategies for coping.                                   

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above.     

Episode 4:

Top Tips for Helping An Adoptive Child Join Your Family

First meetings and moving your adoptive child in to join your family can be among the most important in helping a child, especially a traumatised one, settle well.

COECT expert Jane Mitchell knows from personal experience about the pitfalls and gives clear and essential advice in this podcast on how to handle both these important occasions.

Her words of wisdom centre around understanding what is going through the mind of the child based on their previous experiences – which might have taught them to be very wary indeed of adults. But parents also need to  understand their own mindset and how they might need to take a step back and reduce their expectations.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above.    

Episode 5:

Why Your Traumatised Child "Behaves Badly"

Sarah Dillon, spent much of her childhood in care.
 
Now a child and adult therapist, she is an internationally-recognised expert with experience on both sides of the therapeutic parenting fence.
 
In this episode, she speaks to parents who all too often feel judged when their traumatised child displays regressive behaviours in public – such as screaming tantrums in the supermarket or shoplifting.
 
As she says, it’s one thing dealing with small children in such cases, quite another with a much older and bigger child.
 
Listen to this podcast episode to discover why parents have absolutely no need to feel failures but why developing “a skin like an elephant and a heart like a marshmallow” are necessary coping strategies.
 
Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 6:

Why a Child with Early Childhood Trauma Fears Adoption

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Rosie Jefferies, the Managing Director of COECT, talks frankly about the fears and emotions she experienced as a small child at the start of her adoption journey.
 
Rosie’s profound early life trauma meant she was understandably distrustful of all adults. Indeed she viewed them as dangerous to herself and to her four younger siblings.
 
In this podcast she gives a moving description of the fearful emotions she felt on moving in with her adoption family for the first time.
 
She contrasts the dark of her past with the bright light of the new family home which eventually came to represent safety and security to her.
 
Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Pod
 
Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 7:

How to Help a Traumatized Child go to Sleep

In this episode, Jessica Jackson, an academic and practicing social worker as well as the adopter of two sibling boys joins us to advise on how to help a traumatized child go to sleep. 

Wherever childhood trauma occurs, sleep will be impacted. 

Nightime might well be associated with bad memories and it is well known that traumatized children are more susceptible to nightmares and night terrors. 

Jessica knows what she talking about from a professional and personal point of view. Here she advises us on:

Why sleep is disturbed for traumatized children 

How to establish key bedtime routines  

What kind of food to give to help children feel sleepy

How to make your child’s bedroom conducive to sleep 

How to respond to their emotional behaviour and to reassure them 

How to cocoon and make a child feel safe

Why parents shouldn’t feel guilty if things don’t always go to plan.

 

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 8:

Therapeutic Parenting: The Kind of Dad I Need to Be

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Our first male guest of this series joins us on this podcast edition to talk about a father’s experience of therapeutic parenting. 

Kinship Carer, Iain Fogg and his wife have cared for the daughter he refers to on the podcast as “kiddo” (not her real name), for the last two years.   

We learn about the so-called honeymoon period and its aftermath, secondary trauma and compassion fatigue. 

Iain also discusses the grief he underwent for the loss of the idealized vision he imagined life as a foster father would be like. 

He presents a stark but ultimately hope-filled story not of the the kind of dad he wanted to be but of the kind of dad he needed to be. 

In this episode Iain talked about the film “Instant Family” as the one that originally inspired him and his wife to investigate fostering further. 

Iain’s Instagram account is called “TherapeuticDad” and he welcomes all new followers.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 9:

The Anguish Behind Understanding How the Family Courts Work

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“Bazza” is a professional social worker with in-depth experience of working in the family courts protecting the rights – and the futures – of children. 

For good professional reasons, she has to remain anonymous. 

But on this podcast edition she provides us with an invaluable insight into how the family courts arrive at their decisions. 

Decisions which make fundamental differences to people’s lives and most especially, to traumatized children’s lives.

“Bazza” explains about the research, the soul-seeking, and the genuine desire to do the right thing that goes into the court’s pronouncements.  

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 10:

Therapeutic Parenting for Children Traumatised by Domestic Violence

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Therapeutic Parenting for Children Traumatised by Domestic Violence.

 
The damage inflicted on a child as a result of domestic violence – be it physical or emotional – can have a catastrophic effect on their young lives.
 
In this episode, Rachel Cawthorn, helps us to understand why this is the case and what physiological changes take place in a child as a result of this abuse.
 
Rachel is a social work student and was a senior practitioner in substance misuse for 15 years. She also experienced domestic violence as a child and, as a result, entered into two toxic relationships as a young adult which took their toll on her four children.
 
All this is now firmly in Rachel’s past but no one could be better placed to understand the damage inflicted by this kind of abuse.
 
This is why her advice on how to apply therapeutic parenting’s kind and gentle techniques is worth heeding.
 
Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above. 

Episode 11:

Therapeutic Foster Care Versus Standard Foster Care

As a trailblazer in the field of therapeutic parenting, COECT founder Sarah Naish has made a profound difference to the lives of many struggling foster and adoptive parents.

She also runs fostering agencies in England and Wales where her effective strategies are applied.

The agencies empower families to make a success of fostering even when things appear to be at their most difficult.

This week Sarah tells us what defines a therapeutic fostering agency and how her own ones provide wraparound support when problems arise.

Learn about how the True Fostering Agency and the new SAfER Fostering Agency in Wales   successfully guide parents through difficulties that include false allegations, compassion fatigue and mental health issues.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above. 

Season 2

Episode 1:


The Isolation Experienced by Adoptive Parents

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In the first edition of Series 2, you’ll hear plenty of therapeutic parenting strategies for coping with the inevitable loneliness and isolation experienced by the parents of traumatised children.

COECT’s CEO Sarah Naish talks about her own challenging experience bringing up five siblings from a traumatised background on her own after the break-up of her marriage.

She tells us how other mums distanced themselves from her family because of her adopted children’s difficult behaviour. Sarah became increasingly isolated and desperate for empathetic listeners willing to simply listen to her troubles.

All this eventually prompted her to found what has become COECT and the NATP to provide all kinds of training and empathetic help for troubled adoptive and foster parents.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above. 

Episode 2

Therapeutic Parenting's Super Strategies and Solutions

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Raising a traumatised child to adulthood is fraught with challenges.

But if you get Jane Mitchell’s Super Strategies in place from the very start, you’ll find them a great support.

They form a template that help you face up all the problems that come your way in a consistent, predictable and reliable way that ultimately help your child feel safe.

Above all they help your child to learn that they matter to you. 

We’re talking about Super Strategies such as:

Pausing

Being Playful 

Showing Acceptance 

Being Curious

Expressing Empathy

Practising Parental Presence

Relationship Repair

You can find out more about our training, listening circles and support here www.naotp.com

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above. 

Episode 3

Parenting Traumatized Siblings: Making It Work

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It is often really difficult for the professionals involved to know if a group of traumatized siblings should be kept together or separated once they’ve been removed from their birth families. 

There are so many factors to weigh in the balance such as:

  • Do the siblings depend on each other and have they formed an unbreakable bond? 
  • Or is there intense rivalry and jealousy between them?
  • Have the boys been encouraged to think they are more important than the girls? 
  • Will learned patterns of behaviour make re-parenting and learning new cultural norms an uphill battle?
  • Is an older child violent to a younger one? 
  • Does one child show highly sexualised behaviour to another?

How can a parent meet the different needs of each individual child within a sibling group?

And how can parents successfully raise traumatized siblings so that they retain happy memories of their childhood?

Social worker, academic and mother of two sibling boys, Jessica Jackson, talks from her own challenging experience with plentiful advice on how to overcome problems.

(Jessica recommends using Theraplay techniques for therapeutic games the whole family can play and enjoy)

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 4

How Can You Help Your Hypervigilant Child?

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If your child is from a traumatised background you may be asking yourself why they are seem so super sensitive to everything.

Why are they so watchful and guarded? What are they afraid of?

Why do they seem to focus on matters of peripheral importance when they should be concentrating on their lessons or simply on going to sleep?

Why can’t they just relax?

Our expert guest this week, Glynis Hough, makes a welcome return to explain what is happening in a child’s mind to make it hypervigilant and to make its behaviour disregulated.

She tells us to practice P.A.C.E. (patience, acceptance, curiousity and empathy) until we’re blue in the face.

And she suggest a number of other excellent coping strategies.

To help preserve your sanity, she suggests joining one of the NATP’s Listening Circles where parents can seek advice and share their stories.

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 5

School Transitions for Traumatized Children

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Remember the child in your school class who was the fidgety one?

Or the one who always had their hand up but was ignored by the teacher because they made apparently stupid remarks? 

Or the one that seemed to know exactly what was going on everywhere else but was paying no attention at all to the lesson? 

You wouldn’t have known it at the time, but this could have been a sign of a traumatized child experiencing extreme stress. 

Making the transition from home to school or from Key Stage 1 to Key Stage 2 can present enormous difficulties for children who have suffered adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

In this episode, senior teacher and adoptive mother Sami Byrne – who’s also a Therapeutic Lead for the National Association of Therapeutic Parents (NATP) – helps us understand what they are going through.  

She gives preparation and coping strategies to prepare children for all the different stages they have to confront during their school lives.

These are tried and tested methods that she has used successfully with her own children and which form part of the document she co-authored with Jane Mitchell entitled The School Transitions Pack available on request from www.naotp.com 

Sami also recommends Rosie Jefferies and Sarah Naish’s book “William Wobbly and the Very Bad Day”.   

Other recommended resources include “Harry and the Dinosaurs Go To School”  and  “Topsy and Tim Start School

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 6

Dealing with Relationship Strain for Parents of Traumatized Children

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This week COECT’s CEO Sarah Naish talks from personal experience about the strain placed on a relationship when a couple adopts or fosters traumatized children.

Parents can quickly experience isolation within the relationship itself. This is especially the case if one becomes the main carer and the other is not around enough to witness the difficulties that arise.

About 1 in 3 relationships fail in such families unless help is sought.

As Sarah says, raising traumatized children can test relationships to the limit but she presents three effective strategies to combat the problem.

COECT also holds workshops and webinars to help couples put these strategies into practice. 

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 7
Successful Strategies for Parenting a Violent and Aggressive Child

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Little else could be more destructive to a family unit than a child who is violent and aggressive towards their adoptive or foster parents.

In this week’s episode,  our expert guest, Jane Mitchell,  tells us that children can show superhuman strength when their fears are adrenaline-fuelled.

The result can be harm to the parents and costly damage to the family home.

As Jane explains, this behaviour is a symptom of the child’s sense of overwhelm triggered by traumatic memories. They’re not conscious of what they’re doing and parents need to put into place careful plans and strategies to cope. 

There’s plenty of good advice here on effective de-escalation  techniques and Jane also refers to two courses* provided by the National Association of Therapeutic Parents (the NATP) as well as to the non-violence resistance courses available through many local authorities in the UK.

The vast majority of children who behave this way learn to control their fears with the right kind of therapeutic parenting – and to move forward into a more settled way of life. 

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 8

What To Do When Your Child Soils Themselves

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Your first reaction to the sight of your child smeared in its own poo could well be shock and revulsion.

But understanding why they do strange things with their faeces or when they urinate on the carpet is key to finding a solution.

You might be surprised to learn that this is one of the issues most asked-about on our Facebook page.

This episode’s guest, Sarah Dillon, the COECT’s Therapeutic Lead, has helped many parents and children overcome wee and poo issues using therapeutic parenting-inspired strategies.

As she tells us, such problems can seriously interfere with how children attach to their parents and they can occur with older teenagers as well as the very young. 

But, the important thing is to find a way to ensure that relationships stay strong by using a series of strategies that reinforce a child’s sense that it is safe, accepted and loved. 

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 9

Understanding Why Your Child is Dissociating

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A child in a state of dissociation can be a strange and disturbing thing to witness.

In this week’s edition, Jessica Jackson – whose own small son has a tendency to dissociate – talks us through why this happens and above all, what to do when it does.

Dissociating can best be described as mentally leaving the room.

If you are parenting a traumatized child you may be aware that they seem to go into a trance and be completely unaware of what is happening around them.

This could well be a repeat of the survival mechanism that served them well during times of extreme stress before they joined your family.

We don’t always know what triggers them into displaying dissociation in what are now safe and happy homes – but they can hurt themselves during such episodes and Jessica gives us some excellent coping strategies.

Concerned parents who are also members of the NATP (part of COECT’s umbrella group) are welcome to contact us for one to one help.

You can find out more about COECT and the NATP’s training, listening circles and support here www.naotp.com

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or listen/download above. 

Episode 10

Running Away: How to Bring Children Home

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In this episode, Sarah Dillon tells us why traumatized children run away or abscond from loving and caring foster and adoptive families. 

She understands this problem in depth both as a professional and because she was once a runner herself. 

Sarah tells us children run away for fear-based reasons which do not reflect badly on their foster or adoptive parents.

They may not seriously intend staying away but it is likely that they are trying to make sense of unprocessed trauma.

Her advice is not to make a big deal out of it no matter how anguished you may feel.

You need to help them feel it’s not about them but about what happened to them. 

Sarah mentions three books which listeners may find useful:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting by Sarah Naish
The Quick Guide to Therapeutic Parenting by Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon

Listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or download above.

Episode 11

Advice on Inappropriate Sexualised Behaviour in Children

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When small children display signs of sexualised behaviour, foster and adoptive parents find it repugnant.

As NATP expert Jane Mitchell explains, they are rightly furious with those responsible for the abuse their child must have suffered in an earlier existence.

In this episode, Jane sets out an array of simple but effective  strategies that help to reset a child’s understanding of what is appropriate behaviour between children and adults. 

But she advises learning to differentiate between what is normal childhood curiousity and what is clearly entirely improper knowledge.

If it’s the latter, parents should alert their supervising social worker and the local authority without delay and find out what therapeutic intervention is available.

In the case of older children who were subject to abuse in their early years, they may well be vulnerable to some form of sexual grooming.

In all instances, the NHS, the NSPCC and Barnardo’s are all good ports of call as is the website Thinkuknow

or why not listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music and other podcast platforms.

Episode 12

How Trauma Impacts Children and Food

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In this last episode of Series 2,  expert Sarah Dillon explains how and why trauma has such a profound and negative effect on the relationship children have with food. 

Their behaviours with it might include:

  • hoarding 
  • stealing 
  • hiding 
  • eating all the time 
  • refusing food 
  • only eating certain types of food 
  • gorging on sugar or sugar products

All of these have a perfectly good explanation which reflect the upsetting experiences of a child’s early years.

Not only are all these behaviours typical of a child who has undergone abuse and neglect,  but they also express the need to find replacements for the love and care that has been missing.

What they require from their parents now are the therapeutic parenting techniques set out by Sarah who brings humour and colour to the strategies she knows, from experience, really work.

Season 3: Conference Special

Episode 1

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma’s November 2021 conference attracted parents and professionals from around the country.

It was an emotional day. Well, it would be wouldn’t it because so much to do with fostering and adopting children from trauma involves raw emotion.

Billed as “your roadmap of strategies through to sanity”, reflected  the difficulties that come with parenting traumatised children as well as the need for self-care to build the resilience required to keep going.

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to the COECT’s Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon who opened the conference with a talk on strategies to cope with “Clouds of Grief, Guilt and Anxiety”.

This edition also features an interview with the NATP’s Glynis Hough who has many years of successful fostering experience but who recently experienced great anguish when her foster daughter left the family for good.

Missed the conference and want to watch the full recording? Watch Now 

Why not listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music and other podcast platforms.

Conference Special 2 - Challenges with Schools and for Kinship Carers and Special Guardians

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma’s November 2021 conference focused on a huge variety of issues that challenge parents and social workers nationwide.

Everyone had a chance to explore solutions for their own personal difficulties and challenges and in this episode, we focus on the schools discussions and on the dilemmas faced by Kinship Carers and Special Guardians. 

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to Daniel Thrower, CEO of the Wensum Trust and to Sair Penna , Director of Wickselm House.  In the second part of the podcast, she talks to the COECT’s Jane Mitchell and to Kinship carer Ian Fogg as well as to attendee, Kay. 

Find out why Kay needed to attend and what value she felt she took away.

Missed the conference and want to watch the full recording? Watch Now 

Why not listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music and other podcast platforms.

Conference Special 3 - Surviving Childhood Abuse to Become Parents and Essential Self Care

In this third and final episode from our Conference Special, podcast host Serena Gay talks to childhood abuse survivor Rosie Jefferies about breaking the circle of abuse to become a good parent.

Rosie is also the Managing Director of the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) and spoke most movingly at the conference with colleague Sarah Dillon  about their personal surivival stories during the National Conference day in Solihull.

A key element to success not just for abuse survivors but also for their foster and adoptive parents is essential self care. And during the Conference Day there was plenty of help and advice available on this theme. You can hear more about it from volunteer Lindsay Bodman and Emma Edwards, Director of the Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre on this episode.

Missed the conference and want to watch the full recording? Watch Now 

Why not listen to this Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music and other podcast platforms